As a young girl growing up in New Haven, I was anything but girly. I was labeled as too grown, too fast, too bold, too talkative, just too many things; but soft and pink, not so much, more like red and rough. I didn’t seem to fit into any of the “nice and neat” categories that embodied femininity.
I was known to be able to hang with the boys, unbothered by skinning my knees a time or two. What a far cry from the woman I’ve evolved to! I embrace my childhood, proud of those qualities I had because they made me who I am today.
What’s wrong with being soft? You see, a woman can be strong and powerful AND soft, all at the same time. Being soft IS strong. Being soft IS powerful.
As I just watched the Michelle Obama and Oprah Winfrey interview at the White House for the United State of Women Summit, I reflect on all of the ways women are killin’ it right now, embracing our talents, making lemonade out of lemons, pushing past stereotypes and becoming leaders (and maybe even U.S. presidents) in the world. But when I think about society’s definition of being feminine, it bothers me. Too often, feminine qualities were and are still seen negatively, when they are in fact, characteristics that should be embraced and expressed freely.
What’s wrong with being soft? Why not take a beat and listen instead of voicing ALL of your opinions right away? There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being “fully female”, complete with soft and nurturing characteristics. Ladies, it’s ok NOT to be the boss all of the time. Truth be told, having the ability to use your strengths to get you to the next level is a BOSS move!
You see, a woman can be strong and powerful AND soft, all at the same time. Being soft IS strong. Being soft IS powerful. Softening my approach has worked wonders in my relationships, both personally and professionally. For once, in this season of life, I enjoy being the calm in the middle of a storm, being a soft place where my man can open up and express HIS soft side. (And YES, men DO have soft sides!:))
I don’t know about you, but I LOVE being soft. So go ahead, fly & fabulous women! Don’t shy away from being who you are. Femininity is indeed fabulous!
Known as the ‘Man Whisperer’, Deya “Direct” Smith used her soft power to meet her boo-thang and now future husband. A veteran producer on the syndicated Tom Joyner Morning show, Deya is also an inspirational speaker and multimedia personality.
Deya’s new book, Soft is the New Power: Embracing Your Feminine Edge to Win in Love & Life is available for sale now on Amazon.
Meet Deya on Twitter and on the Gram @DeyaDirect.